Practice Areas: Victims' RightsIntimate Partner Violence

PLEASE BE AWARE THAT MANY ABUSERS MONITOR THEIR PARTNER’S ONLINE ACTIVITY. MAKE SURE YOU ARE READING THIS FROM A SECURE DEVICE AND THAT YOUR BROWSER HISTORY IS NOT AVAILABLE TO YOUR ABUSER.

We know, this $%&* is scary We will jump to action when you’re ready

At C.A. Goldberg, PLLC, we were founded on the belief that everybody is entitled to end a relationship safely and swiftly.

Get in Touch

1 in 4 women will experience physical violence from an intimate partner at some point in their lifetime (CDC)

Abuse always involves control. People stay in controlling relationships for many reasons. Some stay because as bad as the relationship may be, they are crippled by fear that the retaliation will be worse. They fear he/she will spread lies on social media, try to get them fired, turn friends and family against them, share secrets and naked pictures, threaten to kill him/herself. By the time some people are ready to leave a relationship, they may feel stuck because their partner controls the money and they are overwhelmed by the moving and housing costs of leaving. And it’s further complicated if kids and pets are in the picture.

Relationship abuse takes many forms. Just because physical force has not been used on you does not mean you are not suffering. One study found that emotional abuse is the greatest predictor of physical abuse and can be the most seriously dangerous form of abuse. Victims of emotional abuse are more likely to be suicidal and the abuser is more likely to commit murder or murder-suicide. People in emotionally abusive situations report they feel numb from the repetitive psychological manipulation. His jealous rages and unsubstantiated accusations of infidelity become the new normal. Many are “gaslighted” — with him making her feel crazy by insisting that something happened that didn’t or by denying incidents that did actually take place. They report feeling separated from their own life and a loss of identity because of all the changes they’ve made to dodge his outbursts — altering how they act, who they see, how they look, the opinions they express, the activities they enjoy, what they eat, the sex they have.

We help victims plan a safe escape when they are ready. We represent them in family court for orders of protection and civil court if they are seeking further compensation for the hell they endured.

We address the following:

  • An order of protection restrains the behavior of somebody who harms or threatens to harm you. It may direct the offending person not to injure, threaten, or harass you or your children.  It may direct the offending person to stay away from you and your children, move out of your home, handover firearms, refrain from all contact with you, etc.

    When we need to protect a client from abuse, our attorneys can petition the court to issue an order of protection requiring the offender stay away from our client.  We can get a temporary order of protection (TOP) for our client the very day we file for it and it is immediately in effect as soon as it’s served on the offender. 

  • Offenders can be liable for the abuse that occurs within a relationship and after it. We’ve represented dozens of clients who had civil claims against their ex for physical, sexual, and emotional abuse that occurred during the relationship.  Frequently, we’ve negotiated settlement agreements without the need to involve courts and within those agreements, we’ve achieved financial settlements and terms that require no-contact, nondisparagement, and terms to keep intimate images confidential.

  • Abusers control their victims. If a victim leaves, the abuser suddenly feels a loss of control and the reaction can be violent. It is essential that considerable planning accompany the decision to leave an abusive relationship and that special care be taken even after you leave. If you are planning on leaving your abuser, we can help you make a safety plan. You’ll want to think about the friends and family who can help, where you could go, how you could leave, getting together your personal belongings, changing your phone number, opening a bank account or credit card, ensuring your devices are not being tracked, changing your passwords and adjusting your privacy settings on social media to avoid being monitored, communicating with work, installing strong locks and security systems, changing your routine. We can help plan for your safety.

  • While federal law does not specifically protect victims of domestic violence from employment discrimination, the application of Title VII and the Americans with Disabilities Act together provide some protections.  The Equal Employment Opportunity Commission issued a statement that if a victim of domestic violence is terminated due to fear of the potential “drama battered women bring to the workplace” that may constitute discrimination based on sex.  If an employer is concerned that a victim of domestic violence may pose workplace risks, the employer should seek solutions such as obtaining workplace security or getting a temporary restraining order against the offender.  Any knee-jerk decision to fire the victim could make the employer liable.

    If a potential employer refuses to hire a victim of domestic violence because of actual or perceived impairments resulting from the abuse, such as the concern that she may require time off for treatment from injuries, that could violate the ADA.  Employers may need to make reasonable accommodations pursuant to the ADA for victims of domestic violence such as approving requests for unpaid leave to treat depression and anxiety.

    Many states including New York (NY Exec Law 296(1)(a) and 292(5) have specific laws that protect victims of domestic violence from discrimination in the workplace.  In New York, a victim of domestic violence can not be discriminated against by an employer.  A person may not be fired nor not hired solely because she is a victim of domestic violence. Employers must treat victims of domestic violence the same as others in terms of privileges, pay, and benefits.  New York Penal Law 215.14 also protects victims of domestic violence crimes from being fired if they must miss work to testify in the criminal case, meet with a district attorney, or seek an order of protection in criminal or family court.  If a victim is fired for attending any of these things despite having provided advanced notice to her employer, she should call the police because it’s criminal. She may also file a claim with the New York State Division of Human Rights.

  • Below is a list of New York laws that pertain to common behaviors present in abusive situations.  If you report his conduct to the police, consider printing out the relevant laws he broke:

    • Falsely reports that you committed a crime (Falsely reporting an Incident NYP 240.50-60)
    • Demands you do something you have the legal right not to do, or demands you not do something you have the legal right to do, and forces your compliance by instilling in you a fear that if the demand is not met, you or somebody else will be injured, or your property destroyed, or a crime will be committed, or you will be accused of a crime, or a secret will be exposed, whether true or false, subjecting you to hatred, contempt or ridicule, or somebody’s health, safety, business, calling, career, finances, reputation or personal relationships will be harmed in a material way without it causing benefit to the offender (Coercion in the second degree NYP135.60)  Example:  You try to break up with him and he threatens to distribute nude photos of you if you do.
    • Impersonates another and does an act in an assumed character to obtain a benefit or to injure or defraud (Criminal impersonation in the second degree NYP 190.25)  Example:  He creates fake e-mail accounts or social media accounts to harm you, or publishes ads impersonating you that solicit sex
    • Intimidates you into not testifying against him (Intimidating a victim or witness NYP 215.15-17)
      Sends naked pictures or videos of you to underage persons (Disseminating indecent materials to minors NYP 235.21)
    • Uses your computer without permission. (Unauthorized use of a Computer, NYP 156.05)
    • Erases content on your computer (Computer tampering in the fourth degree NYP 156.20)
    • Downloads or prints out content from your computer knowing that doing so will cost you $2,500 or more in value or that content is to be used to commit a felony (Unlawful duplication of computer related material in the first degree NYP 156.30, criminal possession of computer related material NYP 156.35)
    • Tricks you into signing something (Fraudulently obtaining a signature NYP 165.20)
    • Forges your signature (Forgery NYP 170.05-15)
    • Steals your property (Criminal possession of stolen property NYP 165.40 – 54)
    • Films or photographs you undressing or in the bathroom or doing something sexual without your knowledge or consent (Unlawful surveillance NYP 250.45-50)
    • Distributes the material obtained through unlawful surveillance (Dissemination of unlawful surveillance NYP 250.55-60)

16 warning signs of emotional abuse

All abuse looks different and the process of even admitting to yourself that a relationship is abusive can take some time, particularly for those of us who self-identify as empowered, capable people. Consider the following:

  1. He blames you for things that have nothing to do with you. Early signs of this may involve him talking about how his crazy ex ruined his life.
  2. He feels that the world is unjust. He fails to recognize that life can be disappointing and always attributes his failures to other forces. He acts as though he has been singled out as the bearer of all injustices.
  3. Life owes him something. Because he has been so unjustly treated in life, so he thinks, he feels entitled to break rules and disregard the law.
  4. Even the little things are big things. Somebody cutting him off on the road can cause him to unleash the fury.
  5. He lies. When he describes his past, it is extremely tragic and triumphant. He lies about the little things too.
  6. He’s jealous. Something as small as you smiling at male waiter can make him pout for hours.
  7. Delusionally jealous. He is constantly accusing you of cheating on him. If you come home late from work, it’s because you were having sex with your boss. If you do not text him back within thirty seconds, it’s because you were having sex with his best friend.
  8. He gaslights. He is constantly manipulating history. He claims you are crazy for not remembering certain things that you know did not happen. Or he denies things that did actually happen.
  9. He adopts your traumas. After confiding in him about a past crisis, his reaction quickly moves from concern and protectiveness to obsession, as if it had happened to him.
  10. Almost every relationship in his life is tumultuous or estranged. Including with his old friends, family members, and colleagues (if he has a job).
  11. His exes have restraining orders, but he claims they falsely reported him. He also claims they are drug addicts, cheaters, mentally ill.
  12. He is instantly over-the-top. His affection for you is instant and passionate and you are besieged by constant gifts and attention. The relationship gets very serious very quickly.
  13. You make decisions based on keeping his anger at bay. You are always walking on eggshells and you stop doing things you enjoy and seeing people you like because it’s easier not to.
  14. Sex is on his terms and your boundaries are not respected or acknowledged.
  15. He is reckless. With money, with driving, with thrill seeking.
  16. Every argument leaves you feeling conquered and disoriented.

Pronouns

Here on our website, we tend to use female pronouns when talking about victims of abuse, and masculine pronouns when talking about perpetrators. This is a deliberate choice based on several things, including the demographics of our clients. It is essential to note that men can be victims of abuse, and that abuse happens both in straight and same-sex relationships.

Who We Are Cutting edge litigators against big tech and powerful predators at work, home, school, and online

C.A. Goldberg, PLLC, is the country’s first law firm dedicated to justice for victims catastrophically injured by human maniacs and inhumane tech platforms.  Since 2014, we’ve been at the forefront shutting down some of the worst humans and platforms (e.g. Harvey Weinstein, Omegle, GirlsDoPorn) and have litigated some of the most influential cases – against Amazon, Snap, Meta – reining in the tech companies that thought they were above the law.

Get in Touch
Call Us (646) 666-8908