In the last two hours “Betty” from Nebraska got 25,888 hits.  Each hit represented one person who has seen her naked.   Not just naked, but REALLY naked.  Close-ups so, well, close up that you can practically tweeze her ingrown hairs.  Beneath these pictures comments are racking up: “I threw up in my mouth,” and “I cannot fathom the idea of anyone or any THING sleeping with such slag of a creature.” 

While I type this, and as you read this, we both know something still probably unknown to Betty — that she’s fully exposed to the internet; caught with her pants down and no way to pull them back on.

The website is myex.com.  I was really torn about whether to write that since the last thing I want to do is promote it or draw others to Betty’s body.  But in some ways, you need to see it to know how real this is.  And we can’t talk about this in the abstract.

A few observations while visiting myex.com:  It takes about four minutes to post pics and videos (and doxxing with links to the ex’s twitter and fb pages) and it’s free.  The process for getting them removed?  Interminable.  And the cost?  Well, there sure are a lot of “reputation doctors” promising to “instant[ly] remove the pictures.” Though if you read the small print disclaimers they admit that results vary based on “search engines [sic] reaction to our services.”  Call for a free quote.

The “terms and conditions” link at myex.com is a wonderland.  It’s like they had somebody’s cousin who wants to be a lawyer get high and then quilt together every clause from every disclaimer in the universe into one monster-of-frankenstein document.  And don’t be distracted by the little crash-test dummy cartoons at the top of the screen that are engaging in acts of lovemaking best left to crash-test dummies.

The Terms and Conditions begin by telling the visitors that the people are fake:

‘Materials on this Website and through the Service have been prepared by us and by our users for general informational purposes only and are complete works of fiction. Any similarity or relation to any real person is completely coincidental and you agree does not conform to real life.”

Let’s break that down.

1) Materials have been prepared by us and our users. 320 immunity doesn’t apply because you have a hand in producing the content and we can sue you.

2) For general informational purposes Okay, interesting place to get information. Admittedly there is some information provided on this website such as what Kaley did behind a dumpster and how Sheila’s chin hair chafed the post-ers genitals.  Not sure that I would really describe that kind of information as general.  I think of “general information” as relating to tides and subway maps and moon phases.

3) Only.  But does that mean I can’t use these images for ANY other purpose?  Like not  even to get sexual gratification from exploited women??

4) And are complete works of fiction Wait, but I came here for “informational purposes.  And now you’re telling me that the information is fiction?  What part is fiction?  The names?  The comments?  The people depicted?  All those people are fictional? Actors?  Like they’re made of wax?  Or are really good drawings? But then why all the hoopla about revenge porn if the people are fake?

5) Any similarity or relation to any real person is completely coincidental Wait, but why am I getting calls from all these quote unquote real people who say their pictures are posted?  All of that is a coincidence?  Most even claim that they remember sending those exact pics to somebody and wearing that exact outfit and their parents gave them the exact first and last  name that’s next to their naked pictures. That is some CRAZY coincidence-ing happening.  

6) and you agree does not conform to real life.  But what if I don’t agree?  

But later in the Terms it says:  “All Submissions must be true, and in accordance with the rights of privacy and publicity and all federal, state and international law.”

Let’s break that one down now.

1) All submissions must be true .  So then these ARE real people?  But a second ago you said they were fiction.  

2) In accordance with the rights of privacy and publicity That is so lovely that you are such a champion of privacy rights.  Thank you.

3) And all federal, state, and international law.  ALL laws?  So what if there are some laws, like, say, in Israel and New Jersey that this violates?  That would mean that they aren’t posted in accordance with ALL law.

Let’s talk about the FAQs tab.  Wow, very brief.    Want to find out who posted those pictures? Too bad–Myex.com doesn’t keep records. Want to have a post removed? No problem–just Western Union the four hundred dollars to the address in the Philippines. The only “out” the website provides is if you have copyright registration on your photos. And if you don’t have proof of copyright, “we will ignore your e-mails.”

In conclusion, I’m going to leave you with the best gem from the Terms and Conditions:

“You are prohibited from posting or transmitting to or from this Website or Service any unlawful, threatening, libelous, defamatory, pornographic, adult-related, obscene, scandalous, inflammatory, profane material.”

I’ll just let you all break that one down yourself while I have a breakdown from myexasperation.