5 Steps for Stalking Victims

Stalkers are driven by a cruel and obsessive need to make their victims pay for some perceived wrongdoing. They thrive off of their targets’ suffering and disruption to their lives.

If you suspect you are a victim of stalking, we urge you to read our 5 Steps for Stalking Victims to see how you can help protect yourself.

In NY, an order of protection can restrain the behavior of somebody who harasses, harms or threatens to harm you. It may direct the offending person to refrain from all contact, not to injure, threaten, or harass you or your children, etc. A protection order can provide safety to alleged stalking, harassment, and domestic abuse victims. Contact our law office today at 646-666-8908 for a confidential consultation. 

These days, using technology and social media as weapons to destroy a person’s life is fairly uncomplicated. VPNs, Tor browser, the ability to generate scores of fake phone numbers, spyware apps – the potential tools available to stalk are numerous and terrifyingly effective.

While technological innovation has inspired cruel and more creative ways to terrorize another person, stalkers’ desperate need to be noticed remains the same. They don’t care if it’s positive or negative attention. Many get sick pleasure from the tiniest morsel of confirmation that their actions have had an effect; they will uncover and deploy every manipulation they can find to provoke another reaction.

It’s only natural for victims to want to defend themselves against damaging lies and menacing behavior. But by doing so, they’re giving stalkers what they want – acknowledgement.

If someone is making unwanted and repeated attempts to contact you after you’ve firmly requested them to stop, don’t respond. Even if they threaten to distribute intimate photos,  contact your employer, friends, or family – don’t respond. Focus your energy into gathering the evidence. 

Stalkers are determined to impose their will onto every aspect of their victims’ lives, especially their thoughts. They hope that if they can just make their victims see things their way, they may empathize or even let them back in their lives.

If someone is trying to convince you that you are the reason why they can’t get a grip on themselves — maybe you broke up with them or rejected an offer to date or confided in mutual friends about their unhinged behavior — remember that whatever reasons they conjure up to excuse their cruelty is the work of a master manipulator.

You are not responsible for your stalker’s criminal actions. Therefore, you are not responsible for carrying the shame and embarrassment of those actions.

Telling loved ones what’s happening is beneficial in two crucial ways.

First, it is mentally and emotionally torturous to be the target of someone’s obsessive rage. Being surrounded by friends and family who care is a continuous reminder of what respectful, unconditional love truly looks like.

Secondly, it’s an issue of safety.

Your happiness is deeply offensive to your stalker. In their minds, you should be distraught and unable to function without them. Any evidence proving otherwise is a trigger. Your friends and family should keep in mind that anything they tag you in your stalker can potentially see. Ideally, they’ll also block your stalker on their social media as well. Finally, it may also be prudent to distance yourself from any mutual acquaintances who express sympathy to the offender, especially if you suspect they are cluing your stalker into your whereabouts.

Change your passwords to social media, phone apps, email, iCloud and always choose the option to log out of other browsers after resetting just in case you signed into that account on a device your stalker has access to.

Set up privacy features to ask for approval before anything you’re tagged in can be posted to your timeline.

Block your stalker on social media. Any efforts to get around that blocking, such as creating new accounts to add you, calling from blocked or unknown numbers, indicates their escalating obsession. These fervent attempts should be documented and included in any statement you give to the police or a lawyer.

Finally, don’t let others excuse stalking behavior as “not that serious” or diminish your feelings. If you are afraid to perform quotidian tasks outside the home, are consumed with fear over your safety, or sense that your stalker is only growing more obsessed, call the police and find a lawyer to help you.